You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Monday, December 29, 2008

Shopping Gangsta's Paradise

how was your Christmas?

Did Uncle Earl drink one too many Brandy egg nogs and tell Cousin Bobby to take a candy cane and stick it where the sun don't shine, and then proceeded to start a WWF-style match in the family room, which knocked over the tree and destroyed the heirloom Baby Jesus ornament, which caused your mother to burst into tears and scream that next year all you ungrateful sons-a-bitches are getting Kingsford charcoal briquettes or expired Shopko gift cards in your stockings?

Me either...

And speaking of gift cards, I'm not one to ever let those puppies expire. In fact, I run out right away and cash them in. Sometimes, I even cash in Matt's, actually, it's more like ALWAYS. Or I'm good at hinting at what kinds of things he should buy with them. THINGS I WANT.

So we went out last weekend to help STIMULATE the economy. Or something. We failed, but I did manage to cash in Matt's Barnes and Noble gift card and get the last 2 books in the Twilight series. I bought them yesterday afternoon and by yesterday evening already had finished the third book Eclipse. Matt left me on the couch at 3 pm to go play hockey. He returned at 8:30 as I had a few chapters left. He walked into the living room, took one look at my pitiful posture trying to read in the glow of my Christmas ficus tree (don't ask) because I was too spastic to actually get up and move to a place with better lighting.

I almost didn't get up to go to the bathroom; too bad I didn't get a box of adult diapers for Christmas because they would have come in handy.

So Matt sees me and laughs his head off and walks downstairs to go watch Sukiyaki Western Diango. Whatever, Quentin Tarantino.

So then I start the last book, Breaking Dawn. Hah, I think, now we're finally going to get to the "ACTION". Readers of the book know what I mean by that. I was happy because I don't like being teased. Too much.

Also, I was excited because I'm a pervert.

So I was disappointed with the PG writing for those scenes. Boo! Oh well, I have a good imagination to fill in the blanks, after all it was written for teenage girls and not dirty freaks like me. I finally put the book down after that, though I'm sure I will finish it tonight. It was 11:30 when I finally went to bed and all I could think was that I want to get up and finish all 700+ pages, because, as I said before, I DON'T LIKE BEING TEASED.

Being more patient should be one of my New Year's resolutions, but I usually jettison that virtue about 2 minutes after midnight. Oh irony.

So we also went out on a television hunt this weekend; something I had been plotting for months. We first looked online and read about TVs, then we went to Ultimate Electronics and learned more about plasmas vs. LCDs. We learned about Hertz and 1080p and why exactly Pioneer's are the best and most expensive freaking TVs. It's all about the Black ratios. You can look that stuff up, too.

We compared prices at Target and Best Buy and narrowed it down between Samsung and Sony at the 40" size. My preference is Samsung; Matt is biased to Sony. Gee, I wonder who will get their way? Hmmm....

But like before I noticed tons of people out shopping. It was crazy. We didn't end up with a new tv yesterday but I didn't come away from Target empty handed. Who ever does? It's like a crack house; you don't just walk in there for a tour.

I love Target. Where else can you leave with new Hanes underwear, duct tape, maple barbeque potato chips and shrimp cocktail... JUMBO TIGER PRAWNS! oh yeah.

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