Phone call I received last Monday from a unknown caller.
UK: Hello, can I please speak to Mindy.
UK: Oh, hello. How are you doing today?
UK: Feeling better now?
Me: Huh? I feel fine?
UK: I was just calling to see how you were doing today.
Me: I'm fine.
UK: Good. Much better than last Friday?
Me (thinking): WTF?
Me (saying): I don't know. WHO IS THIS?
UK: Uh, this is _____ clinic.
UK: The urgent care clinic.
UK: This is Dr. ____
UK: You came in last friday with severe nausea and diarrhea.
I am suddenly horrified that something happened to me that I have no memory of. Did I go on some drunken bender and wake up in a gutter. Was I abducted by aliens? Are there clones of me running around? Was I in some secret government medical project that I know nothing about? Is this how it starts? With a phone call? I start to panic. Where is my tinfoil hat, dammit?
Me: I did? No, I didn't. I'm fine.
There is no response for a few seconds.
Me (scared): Are you sure I was there?
UK: You're Mindy, right?
UK: Mindy _____?
Me: No, I'm a different Mindy.
UK: Oh God. Sorry.
Me: Wait, so there's another Mindy out there running around with diarrhea and we have the same phone number?
UK: Umm....this is the number she gave me.
Me: Jesus, that's weird.
Me: Well, anyway, I'm fine.
UK: Okay, sorry to bother you. Goodbye.
I hang up the phone and stare out the window. Then I grab the Reynolds wrap out of the drawer. Gotta go make my hat. You can't be too careful these days. What with all the clones and zombies.
I realized this could be the first page of a movie screenplay. A really awful, horrible movie.