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Dear Sena,

Tomorrow you will be 34 months old.

Ice cream and cousin Lilah!

And yesterday you started your first day of preschool.

You were so excited.

All morning you asked, "When is school?"

Because your school is during the middle of the day, we packed a lunch and you proudly carried your new lunchbox into school.

Then you saw a bunch of other kids.

Fourteen kids.

You clung to me and said, "Hold my hand."

Then we met Teacher Lisa and Teacher Sue.

You said, "Stay with me Mommy."

We washed hands and then you sat at an empty table to stick golf tees in play dough.

When the other kids sat by you, you looked up at me with an expression that said, "What?  I am supposed to hang out with THESE PEOPLE?"

Then you left the table to go find something else.

When the mommies and daddies started to leave, two kids started to cry.

You looked up at me and said, "Stay with me, Mommy!"

I said I had to go.

You cried.

I wanted to.

Then Teacher Lisa picked you up and you started to scream.  Angry, angry screaming.  Like a baboon who's about to start flinging poo.

Teacher Lisa said, "Just go.  She'll be fine."

I ran out into the hallway and hid and listened to you scream and try to open the door and run after me.

Eventually I heard, "Okay, but you have to stop screaming."

I found out later that you got distracted by some puzzles.

When I came back to pick you up you were clinging to the student aide's hand.  Her name was Kelly.  I guess you are only used to Kellys, so that was alright to hang out with her.

When you saw me you ran over and crawled in my lap.  We sang the Goodbye Song but you only whispered to me, "Momma, I'm hungry."

You didn't eat your lunch.  I guess it was too overwhelming for you to be expected to eat lunch with all the other hoi polloi.

But you ate it up on the car ride home.

I asked you if you liked school and Teacher Lisa and you gave me a big smile.  "Yes."

So...I guess it could have been worse.

Later on we were playing and you looked out the window and asked, "Momma, what's out there?"

I said, "The whole wide world is out there."

Sena, now you are finally going out into it.

But I will still hold your hand.  As long as you want.

I love you.

Love,
Momma