You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Monday, December 13, 2010

Holiday Gift Guide

Okay, I lied.  I'm posting again.  Mainly because I just got this email in my inbox.  From Pier 1 Imports.  Pier 1 Imports?  Does anyone shop there anymore?  I have bought things there.  A few napkin rings I never use (we don't use napkins--we wipe our greasy fingers on our pants), placemats I do use, and two wicker chairs that are not as expensive as they look.  (They look like they cost $19.99)

The thing that made Pier 1 famous, I think, were those Papasan chairs.  Remember those?  They were very popular, oh, about 1994 or so.

So I get this email from Pier 1 that is titled "Great Gifts for Hard to Buy for People".  Or something.

And this is the first thing I see.

I don't even know what this is.  Metal dogs playing instruments?  This is even worse than the glass fishbowl. What do you do with it?  Do they also double as bottle openers?  Can you make a bong out of it?

I'm going to go with no.  That's one of my prerequisites for gifts.  If all else fails and you have absolutely no use for the item, if you can make a bong out of it, it probably has some redeeming value.

So I think they should retitle that email and call it, "Horseshit Gifts for People you Hate."

Actually, that is a holiday gift guide we could all use.


Susan said...

That was funny! I received that Pier I email also.
And yes, I love Pier 1...always unusual interesting things in there. But I agree, that musical playing dogs are dumb.

Kelly Pigott said...

I agree...worst email blast ever. I also got it too.

Christina Rodriguez said...

Ha! My bro-in-law has a version of those figures. His are shaped like people but they're playing the same instruments.