You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman

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Monday, November 8, 2010

1 year

Dear Baby Sena,

One year ago, at 7:15 a.m., you made you appearance into the world. Howling and bellering and as pink and round as an Easter ham, you were placed on my chest. I try to remember what it was like, but being stunned and amazed at the whole idea of you, it is difficult to hold onto. Thank goodness for video because it was a blur.

And now instead of an Easter ham, you are a little cow (for Halloween).




You also like pumpkins.





A blur is a good way to describe the past year. Another good way to describe it is riding a roller coaster because when you get done you experience all of the following:

Fear
Relief
Excitement
Nausea
Anticipation
More Fear
Screaming
Laughing
Peeing of Pants
Horror
Pain
Bargaining with God
Hysteria
More Laughing
Shock
Headache
Relief

And then after you roll to a stop, you think dumbly, "What just happened?"
Then you think, "Let's do that AGAIN!"

So Sunday you had your party. And just about everyone showed up, all forty of them. You liked everyone singing to you and you poked at your cake as if it was a fat grub under a rock. You weren't quite sure what to do with it.

You also liked opening presents. Lots of the kids "helped" you open them! You love to play with your new school bus, ride on your new Princess car, play with your Winnie the Pooh walker, and push the buttons on your pink cell phone.

So now we have a shitload of new plastic toys in the house. Surprisingly, this doesn't bother me. If I've learned anything during the past year it's this: This too shall pass. The bad, the good, the tiredness, the screaming and crying, the late nights and early mornings, which is why it doesn't bother me the way I thought it would. You are growing so fast, faster than I would like, so when I have to rock and snuggle you to sleep I am acutely aware of how little time we have and I remind myself to pay attention. To everything. Your snorts and snores, the way you talk and babble to yourself...just this morning your Winnie the Pooh toy said, "Goodbye!"

And from the other room I heard it. A tiny little voice replied, "Goobye..."

Then my heart blew up.

I hope you enjoyed the your first trip around the sun, my little Sena.

Happy Birthday!

I love you.

Love,
Mommy


2 comments:

Kelly Pigott said...

Love it!

Susan said...

What a treasure this journal will be for Sena. So proud of the wonderful mommy you have become.
Love Mom