Dinner conversation a few days ago:
Me: Sena, do you want a cookie?
Me: Okay, here you go.
I break little Crunchin' Graham Honey sticks into bite-sized pieces. I look at the box, by Nature's Best. They're organic (Yeah!) and I examine the ingredients. I start to recite the ingredients to Sena, who couldn't care less.
Me: And look! It has Elmo on it!
I turn the box and point it out to her.
Me: Elmo's a total pussy.
Matt (choking): What?????
Me: Well, he is!
Matt: You can't say that!
Me: Well, now I can. But later I probably shouldn't.
I add this to the increasing list of things I shouldn't do in front of my daughter. Like burping and farting, and generally being a disgusting person.
Matt: Elmo's a pussy?
Me: Yeah, you ever listen to him? Total pussy. We didn't have such pussy Muppets back in the day.
Matt: Ernie was a pussy.
Me: Ernie was annoying. Bert was anal-retentive. Wait, Grover WAS a pussy, though. Yep, Grover.
Matt: You know who the biggest pussy of all was?
Matt: Big Bird. God, I couldn't stand him.
Me: Yeah, that whole Snuffleapagus thing pissed me off. (He always disappears right when the kids come back and no one believes Big Bird that he's real)
Matt: I mean, he didn't move that fast!
Me: Yeah! He was a woolly mammoth! Huge!
I look at Sena and realize that we are having one of the dumbest conversations in the history of dumb conversations.
Because that's what we do here in this house.