Poopasaurus

So last Sunday I was at my sister-in-laws for dinner. But before dinner there was entertainment. As in, provide the entertainment for my four-year old nephew, Jack.

This I can do.

Mainly because I can draw stuff. And I don't need to draw very well to impress a preschooler. But at first I didn't do so well....

Outside with sidewalk chalk

Jack: Draw a Pterodactyl.

Me: Okay.

I think for a minute, trying to remember what they look like.

Me: Um, do you have a picture of one?

Jack: No. Draw it here. (Points to a small patch of concrete)

Me: Uh, what color?

Jack: Green.

I start drawing. But something is wrong. It looks like a pelican. An ugly pelican.

Me: That doesn't look right.

Jack: It looks like a bird.

Me: Does it have a horn somewhere?

I add a horn on it's head. A horny pelican. Hah!

Jack: No.

I go back in, defeated. But Jack isn't done. He has a dinosaur book, thankfully, so I can look at the pictures, and he brings me a notebook and crayons.

Jack: Draw this one.

Me: Okay.

It's a diceiomimious or something, but I can draw it using the picture. I finish and ask for the black crayon.

Jack: There's no black on it.

He's right. It's yellow, blue, and orange.

Me: I know, but I'll use it for an outline.

Jack: Huh?

Me: So you can see it better. See, the yellow doesn't show up well. That's why you outline it with a darker color.

I try to explain how edges are darker and shadows and depth and shading and I realize that to him I probably sound like a schizo explaining the Kennedy assassination. I make no sense!

Jack: There's not an outline in the picture.

Me: Okay. There.

My dinosaur looks okay. And Jack agrees. Then he turns the page.

Jack: You have to draw six more dinosaurs.

Me: Six?

Jack: Yes, and you have sixteen minutes to finish.

Me: What?

Jack: I'm counting...starting now.

Me (wondering if he knows how long 16 minutes is): Well, these are going to be ugly dinosaurs...

I manage to draw three before he's bored and leaves the room. But then I'm getting into it. I could just sit there and draw dinosaurs for a while with my crayons. But then it's dinnertime.