You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Friday, July 30, 2010

Welcome to the Monkey House

Yesterday, the Braun clan took a trip to the Minnesota Zoo.

Matt had the day off, I had the day off, Sena had the day off, so we met at my sister-in-law's house around 10 a.m. They have a zoo season pass so if we all went together we would only have to pay for one extra person and not two.

We all climbed into the party mini-van and headed to Apple Valley.

Somehow we end up in Burnsville because Becca forgot where she was going. I notice this sometimes happens when I'm a passenger with her and we are talking. The last time it happened was when we were helping them move into their new house and I drove over with her and because she had a lot on her mind and we were talking, I suddenly noticed that we were in the left lane. On a two-way street.

"Um," I said nervously, "Are we in England now?"

So I was wondering if they had moved the zoo from Apple Valley to Burnsville, but no, they did not. Suddenly, Becca exclaims, "Where am I going?"

"I don't know."

But it's okay because Jack has to go to the bathroom. Right now.

"Mommy's on the highway, Jack!"
"I gotta go!"

Matt pipes up. "Stop up at the Super America."

We stop and Jack and Becca go in. I think, "Man, I'm glad Sena's still in diapers." And then I think, "Sometimes I wish I could wear diapers."

I suppose that day will come eventually.

Jack and Becca return to the minivan.

Jack says, "I'm hungry!"

"We'll eat when we get there."
"But I'm hungry now!"

Somehow we get him back into his seat and Becca throws back a bag of Goldfish crackers. I realize this will be me in a few years, unable to leave the house without bags of food, crayons, and other kiddie crap. As it is, sometimes it feels as though we are preparing to invade a small country with the amount of stuff we pack when we go anywhere.

And I was always the person who went out to the bars with only my i.d. and credit card in my pocket. No purse. No nothin'.

We finally make it to the zoo.

Sena does great the whole entire day. No crying. She is amazed to see all the kids. Kids everywhere. Babies everywhere. We went to the zoo to see the animals but Sena is more interested in the kids, although the zoo is very nice, too. They have a new attraction that I hadn't seen before called Russia's Grizzly Coast, which was very cool.

But the main attraction, I think, was near the main plaza, and it had nothing to do with animals. It was a splash pad, you know how the water shoots up from little fountains and there was just water spraying everywhere and kids running around in it. And I had to agree, as a kid I would have been much more interested in the water than anything else. Jack and George and Matt were soaked within seconds and I had a great time just watching the funny kid/water interaction. It was like an original zoo exhibit. Homosapiens Infantus Hydroinsanitus. Kids going batshit crazy in the water fountains.

I pointed at one little boy crouched over the jet stream and said to Becca, "Look! It's like their own public bidets!"

"That kid's gonna have one clean hiney."

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