You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Friday, April 23, 2010

Confessions from a twelve year-old boy

Sometimes I can be really immature.

Yes, really.

Like yesterday. I was reading the Sunday ads (yes, the first chance I had to have a little time to read the Sunday paper was on the following Thursday), and I noticed the Target flyer.

In the flyer it said you could use one of its pages to make an envelope and use it to recycle 5 Target bags. You fold and tape the envelope, stuff your bags in it, then drop it in the mail and include your name and email address and Target will send you an online coupon to get a reuseable bag.

I was super excited.

Because I hate getting those plastic bags. Because you can't recycle them.

But at the same time, I didn't want Target to send me a coupon because I already have reuseable bags, and I don't really need another one.

So this is what I did.

I grabbed all the bags, about 10 of them. Yeah, I know they said only five. Plus, I stuffed in a Home Depot bag as well. Hah!

After I sealed the bag I realized there was a receipt left in one of them. I had a horrible thought: What if Target finds the receipt, scans it and figures out it was ME! Shit!

So I re-open the bag and find the receipt and get rid of it.

Then I reseal the bag.

I was supposed to write my name and email on the return address. But I didn't want to. Like I said, I didn't want them to contact me. I suppose I could have left it blank.

A normal person would.

But I am not, nor have I ever been, a normal person.

Instead I took out a Sharpie and wrote this on the return label.

Name: Mooshy Booger
Address: 100 Bunghole Lane
Poopville, IA 66666

I don't know why I assume there is a Poopville. But I'm sure it's in Iowa. And if there is someone out there with a Poopypants account on hotmail, please enjoy your complimentary coupon.

Happy Earth Day!


Christina Rodriguez said...

Oh Mindy, can you ever NOT find a way to amuse yourself?

Melinda Braun said...

Probably not... I was worried that when I had a kid that I would lose my juvenile sense of humor. Turns out that it is still in full effect.

Susan said...

I agree with Christina! I can always always
count on you to bring a laugh to my day.

By the way, has the name of your blog
changed to "Dippis Shittis"....did that
name just pop into your head or is there a special meaning.

Cristina said...

Hey there, my dear childhood friend! Take it easy on those of us who live in Iowa. Besides, I think Poopville is in Missouri.