It was a baptism by fire yesterday when I was publicly humiliated by a machine. Yes, the Wii Fit.
After I got weighed! in front of my in laws and it measured my balance; it gave me my BMI and actual age. I was disgruntled to find out I was merely normal and only 3 years younger than my actual age. How this little board determines that based on how you stand on it, I refuse to understand.
Whatever, Nintendo. I know I'm a total B.A.M.F. (Bad Ass Mo Fo)
I did do well in the yoga (tree pose) and lunge squats.
I did moderately okay in the running (after I passed my guide to see if I could, I tripped and fell down...Typical). I managed, with my nephew Jack running beside me, to catch up to the dog and finish. I actually broke a sweat doing this. Although I can break a sweat opening a pickle jar.
I can break a sweat just thinking about breaking a sweat.
I did pretty good with the Hula-hooping and ski jump.
I did outstanding in the tightrope walk! That's something you couldn't pay me to do in real life. And I did it holding the controller in one hand and a beer in the other.
The best part? The two sports I'm actually good at in real life, I absolutely stunk at on Wii Fit.
Heading soccer balls and slalom skiing.
For some reason I was dodging the balls instead of heading them, however I managed to get smacked in the head several times with flying soccer cleats (which subtracts points) and a couple of panda bear heads.
Yes, you heard that right. Panda bear heads. Because that's exactly what you need to be concerned about on the soccer field. A decapitated head of an endangered species....
Maybe it's a Chinese thing.