You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Walk it Off

Well, it's official: now you should wear a HELMET all the time. Just to be on the safe side.

Because of all the snow this year, there's a lot of people out sledding. Therefore more people getting hurt.

Because of this, HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center) has published A LIST OF SLEDDING TIPS.

No, I'm not kidding.

Here it is

Read and be disturbed....

No sitting backwards! No piling 7 people on an inner tube! No icy jumps!
What is the point?

Of course my favorite was wearing a helmet.

When I was growing up nobody wore a helmet to do anything. Not even when playing football or riding bikes. There was usually only one kid in the neighbor or school yard that wore a helmet. And this kid always had a runny nose and smelled like a mixture of old bologna and mustard sandwiches and Vick's Vap-o-rub.

This kid was avoided like the plague. For obvious reasons.

I remember my dad's basic safety lessons. They're easy to remember since there's only two of them.

1. Don't land on your head.
2. Walk it off.

#2 was if you did, in fact, perform a marvelous wipeout but no bones were protruding from your skin and the wounds were not so deep as to require stitches or blood transfusions.

But now you're supposed to wear a freakin' helmet to sled. Not luge. Sledding. Sheesh.

Forget being last place in math and science in the industrial world; the USA is slowly but surely turning into a nation of nansy-pansies.

Obama needs to get on that - ummm, as soon as they fix all those other problems.

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