Yesterday afternoon the phone rang.
"Who is this?" I knew who it was. It was my nephew Jack, who is 2 1/2. He sounded like a little old lady who'd taken one too many hits off a gravity bong.
"What are YOU doing?"
He says something that sounds like..."Rrrraaghaa murfle im doodah weee TOYS!"
"That sounds like fun."
Then Matt gets on the phone.
"Are you baby sitting?" Matt had the day off.
"Sort of. I'm watching them while Becca wraps presents."
There is a noise in the background. Matt says, "Hang on..."
I hear screaming.
"Oohh, ooh, no Jack. Ooh c'mere Georgie." George is screaming.
"Jack hit Georgie with his hammer." A plastic one not metal.
"That didn't take too long."
I could just see it, poor Georgie laying on the floor minding his own business and chillin' and here comes J.J. with his plastic hammer. Here's J.J.'s thought process:
Hmmm...I have a hammer.
Hmmm...Georgie's laying on the floor.
Hmm... hammer's are for hitting stuff.
Hmmm...Georgie's head is big and round.
Hmmm... I think I'll hit it.
Mind you, this internal conversation takes place in approximately 1/1000th of a millisecond.
So in honor of my nephew, I have found a perfect book for him to read. It's called:
Manners can be Fun! (the revised edition)
by Munro Leaf.
This is the same author who wrote the wonderful story called Ferdinand. Remember Ferdinand? The bull who just wanted to hang out and smell flowers? That's another classic children's book.
The book is great and the pictures are hysterical.
Although it is the revised edition I didn't see a page on not hitting your brother in the head with a plastic hammer. I think you have to read between the lines on that one.