Here's Junior Senator Jack Goepfrich introducing his new running mate for vice president, Governor George "McFatty" Mansfield.
The two lifelong Democrats are introducing a new, forward thinking campaign platform. We promise to provide...
1. Unlimited cookies and candy for all Americans, and bottomless "bobbies" for those lacking teeth.
2. Dora and Diego TV marathons.
3. Freedom for all to exercise their constitutional right to refuse naps.
4. A petition to repeal laws requiring clothes, which we find to be a cruel and unusual punishment. We would especially like to ban pants.
WE APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.