Matt disappeared this weekend to the land of beer and brats (Milwaukee) to see the Twinkies play the Brewers. Apparently, this is a road trip many Twin Citians make every summer, as a chance to go see baseball as it was meant to be seen --at an outdoor ballpark.
Also, despite the fact that the entire world knew (even the BBC reported it) that the Lake Delton dam had busted and flooded the area and parts of the interstate were closed, none of the five knew what was going on until they hit the back up at I-94. I wish I had heard the conversation, but I will try to imagine it:
"What the hell is this?"
"Damn Wisconsin drivers."
"Maybe it won't take long."
"Maybe someone hit a deer."
"Maybe a beer truck tipped over."
"Hey those people are driving up the exit ramp."
"What is this shit?"
"God, look at this moron. What's HE doing?"
"Jesus, get OFF the highway!"
"Shut up, stop telling me how to drive."
"These jerkoffs are driving up the ON RAMP!"
"Well, we ARE in Wisconsin."
"Bunch of dummies."
"You can't really tip over a cow."
"No you haven't; it goes against the law of physics."
"Well, I heard you could."
"Hey...are we getting close to the Dells."
"Ummm... didn't something happen there?"
"Like what? Did somebody bomb the water parks?"
"Why would terrorists bomb Noah's Ark."
"Because it's Christian."
"Noah? His Ark? Get it? It's in the bible."
"You're a frickin' idiot."
"Christians like water slides and wave pools, too, you know."
Okay, I think I'll stop here.
Matt brought back two Brewers shirts. No. 8 for Ryan Braun. I've always wanted a shirt that has my last name on the back, so I guess I will have to pick one up. We gave one shirt to his dad and a teeny toddler shirt to Jack, much to his father's chagrin. Firstly, it is a Brewer's shirt, and secondly Jack's last name is not Braun. Peter pretended to be amused.
"Don't worry," I told him. "There's no way there'll ever be a Goepfrich playing major league baseball."
I don't think he appreciated that. He crossed his arms and said, "He's NEVER wearing that shirt to a Twins game. Hmmpf!"