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-Neil Gaiman

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Little bunny Fou-Fou, I am gonna kill you...

Peter Rabbit strikes again. I saw one in the backyard as I came out the door this morning, sitting happily in the new garden bed I made around my apple tree, gorging himself on verbena blossoms. Every single pink and lavender flower that I bought at the farmer's market last weekend was gone. He had the decency to leave the assylum alone though. Or maybe he was just full.

I've noticed the rabbits are worse this year. Or getting bolder. Last weekend I was watering in the backyard and watched Mr. Bun-Bun hippity-hop towards me across the alley. He was about 10 feet away. I just stood there, holding the hose. "You better not come in this yard, you booger!" I said.

Like a three year-old, he did anyway. Hippity-hop, hippity-hippity, hop, hop, hop. I turned the hose on him. "Haaaaa!" I got him in the butt and he took off into the neighbor's yard.

I don't remember having this much trouble. My cat Junebug was an excellent hunter of bunnies and mice. I say was because she is now 10 years old and acting like a crabby old lady. She goes outside and skulks around but I don't think she is up for hunting the way she used to be. She likes to sit on the front stoop and growl at dogs as they walk past with their owners. Sometimes she actually gets up and stalks halfway down the sidewalk for good measure. Yes, she is a total badass.

Her sister Bee, is 5 and according to the Bug's whiny complaints to me, a total freakin' pain in the booty. She is always ambushing her when she walks around the corner and competing with her for "pets" and treats. Ironically, we got Bee because we thought Junebug was lonely. The other problem is that Bee just isn't that smart.

Cats are like everyone else. Like kids and dogs, some are just born clever. And some are not. It must be hard when a parent looks at their kid one day and realizes that they better start saving for college because there AIN'T GONNA BE NO SCHOLARSHIPS FOR THIS ONE. Thinking something like, "Hmmm...they better grow up and have a good personality." We call Bee our special child. But not to her face. I just don't think she will ever be able to catch a rabbit, and I think the rabbits of the neighborhood know, hence all the flower eating.

She did, however, make her first catch last week, after only five years of practice. I heard her upstairs meowing and thumping around. I go upstairs and hear a weird fluttering and see her hunched over in the corner. "Whaddya got, Bee-Bee?"
Then something shot out and flew between my legs and hit the wall. It was a big dragonfly. She had caught it herself and brought it in the house to show me. She looked up at me with a satisfied fuzzy face that said, "See? Me CAN hunt!"

I was very proud of her and I took the dragonfly outside and let him go.

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