Boy Howdy, I almost can't believe that this is an actual campaign ad. But..it..is.
I've never heard of Senator John Cornyn (Republican) until now and after watching his ad, I think "Big John" wishes he'd never heard of himself, either. Big John? Reminds me of some pimp's name, as in, "Hey man, where you been all week? Big John's been lookin' for ya."
"Laying low, man. That mofo says I owes him money."
I especially like the line where the writer rhymes, "You must get six mo!" It's so poetic.
I was kinda of hoping for a cameo by Walker: Texas Ranger, but then I realized that Chuck Norris would beat the crap out of this guy if he was associated with an ad of this caliber.
Kelly? Derek? Ya'll down there in Texas, you must explain yourselves for this. As they say in that part of the country, that'll be a tough row to hoe.