I finally got my garden gnome. My parents came to visit and my mom brought me one, along with a sheet of "little gnome trivia" and said I had to name it.
I named him Hans.
I was sitting on the backyard bench with Hans, trying to figure out where to put him. If any of you have seen the movie Amelie, you know that gnomes can be in the habit of disappearing, so I was trying to find a place that wasn't so obvious, but still could see him, so he is in the backyard, near the house, hanging out by a whiskey barrel planter.
My dad thought it was hideously tacky. It is, but I really like it anyway.
I also recommend the movie Amelie for those who have not had the pleasure.