2011 Holiday Gift guide

For those who have everything, I bet they don't have this.

That's right.  A goat.  You can give a goat for Christmas!  And you can order one on the Internet.

I love the Internet!

That's what I got my in-laws.  They didn't have a goat.  Well, actually they got a card saying I donated a goat for them.

If you don't like goats they also have cows and camels.  Your choice.

You can go here to see how it works.

And if you do this and your gift recipient is all like, "Thanks for the goat!"

But then they keep looking at you.

That look.

That look that says, "Okay, where's my real gift, dammit?"

You can then say, "Huh?"

You can watch them get all red-faced and embarrassed because they just kinda sorta admitted they're greedy assholes.

Then you can say, "Fine, here's your gift, you asshole."

I'm ORGANIC!  Yeehaw!

Then they will feel all guilty and shit.  Which are what the holidays are all about.  And then they'll feel bad and offer you some of the vodka you just gave them.  And then you can drink it.  It's like getting an extra bonus gift.

Merry Christmas!