38 Weeks

INT Evening - Basement Family Room

Matt and Mindy are watching an old Seinfeld rerun.

Mindy: So about how much do you weigh?

Matt: Probably 175.

Mindy (aghast): What?

Matt (watching George Costanza act like a jerk): What. What.

Mindy: Are you sure? I mean, you must weigh at least 180.

Matt: No, maybe a few years ago. I'm pretty sure it's 175.

Mindy: But you don't know. I'm sure it's more.

Matt: Who cares?

Mindy: I went to the doctor last week.

Matt: Yeah?

Mindy: I weighed 174.6 lbs.

Matt (weirdly impressed): Oooh, good job, Moo-moo.

Mindy (voice rising): I CAN'T weigh more than you. I can't!

Matt: Huh?

Mindy: It's just not right. It's not right. You're six feet tall. You're taller than me.

Matt: Yeah.

Mindy: SO I CAN'T WEIGH MORE THAN YOU!!!! It's wrong.

Matt: Oh well.

Mindy: If I laid on you, would you be able to push me off?

Matt: I don't know.

Mindy (forlornly): Probably not. I would smother you. Would you still love me if I stayed humongous?

Matt (smiling): Probably not.

Mindy: You are a horrible person.

Matt: Maybe. But I'm not a chubby chaser.

Matt starts laughing as if this is the funniest thing ever said in the history of mankind.

Mindy: I still think you weigh 180.

Matt: Whatever makes you feel better.

Mindy: I said, 180!

END SCENE