Conversations with 3 year-olds

"Jack, don't stick your crackers in your water."

"But they're fish." He is eating goldfish crackers. "Fish, fish, fishy! Swimming!"

"You're making a mess. Your water is going to get gross."

"Swim fishy, fishy!"

"Your fish will get all soggy."

"Fishy, fishy, fishy...Hee, hee..."

"I'm gonna take it away if you don't stop."

"Yummy fishy...I'm gonna eat you!"


LATER ON

"Jack, why can't you just eat it. Please sit there and eat it." He is mutilating a cheese tortilla.

"I want a popsicle."

"You have to eat your dinner first. Don't poke holes in it."

"I'm making a hole for the cheese. And the mouse."

"The cheese is going to get out. You're making a mess."

"Cheese is hot! Hot!"

"It's not hot, it's warm."

"It's burning me!" Jack gets up and grabs his plate.

"What are you doing?"

"In the freezer." He puts his plate in the freezer.

"It's going to get cold. It won't taste good."

"It's too hot."

"You'll wreck it. It will freeze."

"Like popsicles... Can I have a popsicle?"

"No. You have to eat your dinner. Why can't you eat like Georgie?" George is inhaling his dinner like a Hoover.

"I want a popsicle." It looks like his cheese tortilla has been exploded by a grenade. He is ripping it to pieces.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"You can have some fruit." I give them pineapple and blueberries. Both of them gobble it up.

"Now, popsicle."

"You got a one-track mind, don't you?"

He looks at me blankly.
I go into the freezer. There are Minute-Maid juice popsicles. "There's one left."

"Yes," he says sadly. "Grandpa ate them all."

I give him the last one.

"Oh, it's hot. It's burning me!"

"It's not hot. It's cold."

"It's burning me!"

"You mean it's so cold it feels like a burn?"

He contemplates this. "No, it's HOT!"

So it goes....