You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Monday, June 15, 2009

Meatfest 2009

On Friday night Matt told me the first annual Meatfest was to take place...

Me: Meatfest? What's that?

Matt: We eat meat.

Me: What else?

Matt: More meat. And Jack Daniels.

Me (gagging): That's sick. You better eat something other that meat and J.D. or your going to have some serious gastrointestinal problems.

Matt: Like what?

Me: Umm... like vegetables? Maybe a salad?

Matt: Okay, there will be some vegetables at Meatfest.

Me: Uh, so where is this Meatfest?

Matt: At our house. Tomorrow afternoon.

Me: Umm....who's coming?

Matt: Carnivores. It's Meatfest!

So Saturday morning we went to the farmer's market to buy fruit and vegetables. Some strawberries, pineapple, cherries, melon, mangoes, lettuce, asparagus, and peppers.

Me: So, what meat are you making?

Matt: Tim's bringing it.

At 2pm, Tim and his wife Shelly and their three kids show up. Tim is carrying about 15lbs. of meat. There are rib eye steaks, pork ribs, lamb chops and shanks. It is ridiculous. Karl shows up.

The ribs go on the charcoal Weber with hickory chips to smoke for 2 hours. At 4 p.m. Matt's parents arrive and then soon Becca and Peter and Jack and George. We've already eaten the rib eye (Round 1 - the appetizer) and are putting on the asparagus to grill.

The barbecue ribs are done (Round 2). Nobody talks - except to make noises like: Ummm-MMMMM. Gooooooood. Mmmrrrff! Grunt. Ooooooohmmmppf...yum. Oink.

People play cards and the little kids run around the back yard screaming and throwing stuff.

Round 3 is the lamb. By this point most people are meated out, but manage to nibble on some lamb chops. I was a bad participant...I ate a little rib eye and two ribs and then mostly ate asparagus and fruit salad.

By 8 p.m. people leave, and Matt proclaims Meatfest 2009 to be a success. Mainly because we still have three pounds of rib eye left in the refrigerator for him to eat by himself. The backyard is now empty save for the thick scent of smoky pork still hanging in the night air.

I don't even want to know what they are going to attempt for Meatfest 2010.

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