Well, my publisher Mike Savage sent me an email yesterday about the Ellen Show. Namely, that they want to get me on it.
I like the Ellen Show. I like Ellen. This is one of the many shows I watch during the day if I happen to, ahem, call in sick to work.
I also watch Tyra and Martha Stewart. One time when Martha was on, she was demonstrating how to perfectly fold a fitted sheet. Because I'm a Virgo I immediately perked up.
"Ooooo goody! The secret to the universe shall REVEAL itself."
I memorized what Martha was doing; it was sensational. My mom can also do this; she's showed me several times. When my mother is done with them you CANNOT tell which sheet is the flat and which is fitted. They are both perfectly creased rectangles, it's like watching a Zen master make origami.
I can't do it, and this hurts me. Emotionally and psychologically.
My fitted sheets always look like I folded them with my cat stuffed inside.
But back to Ellen. If you want to see me act like a jerk on national television, and believe me, YOU KNOW YOU DO! you can click on this link and bombard the producers with requests for my appearance. The more obnoxious the better.
My sister-in-law Becca is already giving me grief over the "angelic author" bit. Also the expression: Going Viral
That just conjures up all kinds of images. Hmmmm... ducks going viral = bird flu
PLEASE HELP LUELLA GO VIRAL!
Here's the deal: National Children's Book Week begins May 12th. We've offered to give a copy of Melinda Braun's book Luella to audience members of the Ellen show one of those days if they will have Melinda on to tell the sweet, sweet, TRUE story of the orphan duck raised by a Pug named Pancake. Would you be willing to help make this a reality by emailing Ellen's show and "encouraging" them to have Melinda on as a guest? Tell ALL your friends to do the same. If this goes viral and enough people ask, maybe they'll invite Melinda to the show and she will be able to meet one of her favorite stars. Plus, children around the world will get to know a true story of love and acceptance. Please email Ellen for us! Ask your friends to do the same! Thanks! Go to: The Ellen Show and help get the plucky ducky, the pugnacious pug, and the angelic author on Ellen for National Children's Book Week!
Visit www.savpress.com for more info.