Today

As of noon today, I will no longer fake a Canadian accent when traveling abroad. I will not stick gigantic maple leaf stickers on my baggage. I won't care very much if my husband walks around the streets of Paris wearing obnoxious white sneakers, a baseball hat, or a fanny pack. Well, I might care a little bit.

I won't say, "Eh?" when a European person asks me a question, or yell, "Take off, you hoser!" when someone cuts us off in one of their teeny, tiny clown cars.

Wait...I still might do that.

However, I will no longer be a stuttering, shame-faced American apologizing for the incompetent douchebaggery that has overflowed like a clogged toilet from our nation's capitol for the past 8 years.

That is now over.

America is officially cool again.

Word to your mother.