You can know anything. It's all there. You just have to find it.

-Neil Gaiman


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Where's the Four Horsemen?

Well, it's only Wednesday. The stock market has plummeted. AIG just got an $85B bailout, and I only matched two of the six Powerball numbers, so it looks like I'm going have to keep showing up at work. So much for those numbers that my horoscope told me were going to be lucky. I'm starting to think it's all a big sham.

Now that the market's down, I guess I should be investing, you know, Buy Low Sell High? The stocks are on sale! Yippee! Though with the way things are going, this makes one want to get out, sell the house, and move to a hut somewhere in the south pacific.

Especially when I realize that the next President could possibly be a person who believes the earth is only a few thousand years old. So that's why the emperors put an end to those Colosseum spectacles in Rome. They ran out of gladiators because all the dinosaurs ate them. Then Jesus showed up, kicked dino-butt and Noah helped him build a rocket ship to launch the evil Satan lizards into the sun, which then sparked the Big Bang and caused the earth to transmogrify from a flat crust of dirt into a fantastic orb we have today. Then Al Gore showed up and started screaming, "You fools! Look what you've started! The woolly mammoths are already migrating to Siberia. The end is near!"

Or something like that. I'm sure Ms. Palin has it all figured out. I won't be holding my breath.

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