It's Monday.
It's raining.
You forgot your umbrella.
There's 100 emails in your in-box.
You spilled coffee on your lap.
You just got called for jury duty.
So far your day is not so awesome.
Here's something to watch that is.
Showing posts with label in the news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in the news. Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2012
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Oktoberfest
Oktoberfest in La Crosse, Wisconsin is almost exactly like Mardi Gras in New Orleans, except instead of boobies and beads there is a lot more beer, bratwurst and Leiderhosen.
And instead of French culture there is German.
And dead squirrels.
And because there wasn't any cows around to tip over, they use cars instead.
At least they didn't light them on fire this time.
Oh well, there's always next year.
I'm sure the Germans with their sturm und drang and zeitgeist and schadenfreude would be able to come up with a great word for dead squirrel tossing.
And instead of French culture there is German.
And dead squirrels.
And because there wasn't any cows around to tip over, they use cars instead.
At least they didn't light them on fire this time.
Oh well, there's always next year.
I'm sure the Germans with their sturm und drang and zeitgeist and schadenfreude would be able to come up with a great word for dead squirrel tossing.
Friday, June 17, 2011
I guess I should quit bitching about all the potholes....
I didn't want to go to work this morning.
Sena has a cold, which now means I have a cold, so technically I could have called in sick.
I was feeling all sorry for myself. Didn't have time to eat breakfast. Running late because I couldn't figure out what to wear to work. And it doesn't matter what I wear to work. I could wear a garbage bag and a pair of Hammer pants and nobody would notice. Well, they might notice, but they probably wouldn't say anything, and even if they did, they might say something like, "Your pants are interesting; very shiny, but they look nice and comfy, huh? Hmmm, is that a Glad bag or Hefty? I tend to buy the plain store brand...those Hefty's are pretty pricey, dont'cha know?"
I work with library people. In Minnesota.
Anyway, I get to work and realize I have to send my supervisor a list of goals and accomplishments for my upcoming review.
I write down a bunch of crap about being more of a team player. I think.
What I really want to write?
My goal for the upcoming year is not to voodoo your ass when you annoy me. Which is, like, every day.
But I don't mess with voodoo. That shit is for real. FOR REAL!
I did have a voodoo doll. From New Orleans. I gave it to my sister-in-law when she was getting married and said, "Here! Use this to keep Peter in line!"
I think she thought I was joking.
I wasn't.
I was actually scared to keep it. I think Matt was scared too.
Anyway, after I think I'm having a crappy morning, I check the news and see this headline.
Star Sucked up in extraordinary flash
At first I was thinking something horrible happened to Star Jones, like maybe she got flushed down some huge whirlpool or toilet.
But no, it's way cooler than that.
Reading it gave me goosebumps. Then when I tried to understand how far 6 trillion miles is (one light year, duh!), I got a brain freeze.
It kind of makes all the petty day-to-day stuff seem pretty insignificant.
Except for voodoo. That shit's for real!
And then my morning got better. Someone made scones and left them in the breakroom.
I think the Universe sent me a sign.
Space is cool.
Sena has a cold, which now means I have a cold, so technically I could have called in sick.
I was feeling all sorry for myself. Didn't have time to eat breakfast. Running late because I couldn't figure out what to wear to work. And it doesn't matter what I wear to work. I could wear a garbage bag and a pair of Hammer pants and nobody would notice. Well, they might notice, but they probably wouldn't say anything, and even if they did, they might say something like, "Your pants are interesting; very shiny, but they look nice and comfy, huh? Hmmm, is that a Glad bag or Hefty? I tend to buy the plain store brand...those Hefty's are pretty pricey, dont'cha know?"
I work with library people. In Minnesota.
Anyway, I get to work and realize I have to send my supervisor a list of goals and accomplishments for my upcoming review.
I write down a bunch of crap about being more of a team player. I think.
What I really want to write?
My goal for the upcoming year is not to voodoo your ass when you annoy me. Which is, like, every day.
But I don't mess with voodoo. That shit is for real. FOR REAL!
I did have a voodoo doll. From New Orleans. I gave it to my sister-in-law when she was getting married and said, "Here! Use this to keep Peter in line!"
I think she thought I was joking.
I wasn't.
I was actually scared to keep it. I think Matt was scared too.
Anyway, after I think I'm having a crappy morning, I check the news and see this headline.
Star Sucked up in extraordinary flash
At first I was thinking something horrible happened to Star Jones, like maybe she got flushed down some huge whirlpool or toilet.
But no, it's way cooler than that.
Reading it gave me goosebumps. Then when I tried to understand how far 6 trillion miles is (one light year, duh!), I got a brain freeze.
It kind of makes all the petty day-to-day stuff seem pretty insignificant.
Except for voodoo. That shit's for real!
And then my morning got better. Someone made scones and left them in the breakroom.
I think the Universe sent me a sign.
Space is cool.
Friday, March 11, 2011
T-paw to the rescue
That's what we call Tim Pawlenty in this neck of the woods. The video proves that with a bunch of flashes and crazy fast edits, you too can look like a badass. Even if you're not. You just have to have enough money to hire Michael Bay to make your commercial. I love Colbert's version even more.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Sheenenfreude
Oooo, yes! More Charlie Sheen news.
There is a new word floating around the internets. Sheen. That, actually, is not a new word. It normally means something like: healthy, glossy appearance.
As in: Your hair has a wonderful sheen today. What conditioner are you using?
But now sheen has become a verb. To Sheen. I am sheening.
Example: Last night, I sheened so hard I woke up in a construction site portapotty with only an empty Taco Bell bag and two different colored socks. Weird!
Translation: To behave so outrageously you have to be a celebrity to get away with it. Or have tiger blood.
It's kind of like those old Spoonerisms. I loved those words. My favorite all-time Spoonerism is the word:
Reintarnation.
Definition: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
I love English!
It's Friday, and that's all I got. I was trying to think of something funny that happened, or even mildly amusing, but no, only making fun of a celebrity who, all bets aside, will probably be making the news again when his pale, bloated corpse is found in a fancy hotel bathtub by housekeeping. That's the thing about housekeeping, you never know what crazy ass shit your going to find doing that job. Now, that's a book I would read. You could title it something like, "Do Not Disturb... Too late, I already am!"
Somebody should get on that.
There is a new word floating around the internets. Sheen. That, actually, is not a new word. It normally means something like: healthy, glossy appearance.
As in: Your hair has a wonderful sheen today. What conditioner are you using?
But now sheen has become a verb. To Sheen. I am sheening.
Example: Last night, I sheened so hard I woke up in a construction site portapotty with only an empty Taco Bell bag and two different colored socks. Weird!
Translation: To behave so outrageously you have to be a celebrity to get away with it. Or have tiger blood.
It's kind of like those old Spoonerisms. I loved those words. My favorite all-time Spoonerism is the word:
Reintarnation.
Definition: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
I love English!
It's Friday, and that's all I got. I was trying to think of something funny that happened, or even mildly amusing, but no, only making fun of a celebrity who, all bets aside, will probably be making the news again when his pale, bloated corpse is found in a fancy hotel bathtub by housekeeping. That's the thing about housekeeping, you never know what crazy ass shit your going to find doing that job. Now, that's a book I would read. You could title it something like, "Do Not Disturb... Too late, I already am!"
Somebody should get on that.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Somebody needs to set up a task force for this
In downtown Minneapolis we have a Mary Tyler Moore statue.
In St. Paul there are all kinds of Peanuts (Snoopy) statues because of Charles Schulz.
But this is the best mofo statue idea ever. EVER!!!
Unfortunately, Mayor Dave says they have no plans for this. But they should - they really, really should.
Somebody needs to set up a task force for it. The people of Detroit should demand it, set up a referendum or some shit because I don't understand how politics work (because THEY don't really want you to understand, I know that much!) But really, they should get one.
http://twitter.com/mayordavebing/status/34698788601860096#
@MT There are not any plans to erect a statue to Robocop. Thank you for the suggestion.
1:43 PM Feb 7th via TweetDeck in reply to MT
Retweeted by 100+ people
.mayordavebing
If you saw that sort of artistic Chevy commercial about Detroit during the superbowl, you can understand that instead of Eminem driving around with his "I'm either super pissed off or really constipated and I haven't been able to poo for two days" face, it would have been a whole lot cooler to have Robocop driving the Chevy around the streets of Detroit.
Then, at the end, Robocop could jump out of the new Chevy and shoot a rocket launcher at the Toyota Prius or Ford Focus or ALL of them and then while the back screen is showing the burning deitrus of uncool compact cars, he could turn around and say to the camera in his super cool robot voice, "This is Detroit, muthafuckas!"
I would totally buy a Chevy then. They could have a special Robocop edition car where the GPS system uses his voice!
I just thought of that.
Why doesn't anyone appreciate* my creative genius?
*= give me lots of money
In St. Paul there are all kinds of Peanuts (Snoopy) statues because of Charles Schulz.
But this is the best mofo statue idea ever. EVER!!!
Unfortunately, Mayor Dave says they have no plans for this. But they should - they really, really should.
Somebody needs to set up a task force for it. The people of Detroit should demand it, set up a referendum or some shit because I don't understand how politics work (because THEY don't really want you to understand, I know that much!) But really, they should get one.
http://twitter.com/mayordavebing/status/34698788601860096#
@MT There are not any plans to erect a statue to Robocop. Thank you for the suggestion.
1:43 PM Feb 7th via TweetDeck in reply to MT
Retweeted by 100+ people
.mayordavebing
If you saw that sort of artistic Chevy commercial about Detroit during the superbowl, you can understand that instead of Eminem driving around with his "I'm either super pissed off or really constipated and I haven't been able to poo for two days" face, it would have been a whole lot cooler to have Robocop driving the Chevy around the streets of Detroit.
Then, at the end, Robocop could jump out of the new Chevy and shoot a rocket launcher at the Toyota Prius or Ford Focus or ALL of them and then while the back screen is showing the burning deitrus of uncool compact cars, he could turn around and say to the camera in his super cool robot voice, "This is Detroit, muthafuckas!"
I would totally buy a Chevy then. They could have a special Robocop edition car where the GPS system uses his voice!
I just thought of that.
Why doesn't anyone appreciate* my creative genius?
*= give me lots of money
Monday, May 3, 2010
My in-laws
Here is actually a post where I'm not talking about poop. Amazing.
My mother and father-in-law, Marie and John Braun, are very active in the peace and justice movement. In this video they are talking about their experience being arrested in Washington D.C. during a peace protest. I can only hope that if I'm lucky enough to reach their age, that I still have not only some chutzpah left but also a desire to make things better where I can.
I'm lucky to not only know there are still people like this in the world, but to actually have them as my family.
My mother and father-in-law, Marie and John Braun, are very active in the peace and justice movement. In this video they are talking about their experience being arrested in Washington D.C. during a peace protest. I can only hope that if I'm lucky enough to reach their age, that I still have not only some chutzpah left but also a desire to make things better where I can.
I'm lucky to not only know there are still people like this in the world, but to actually have them as my family.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Something to chew on
This is the following conversation I had the other day with a co-worker.
Co-worker: I'm really mad at Burger King.
Me: Huh? Why? Did the King come after you?
CW: Nope. I was just there last night.
Me: Oh yeah?
CW: And I ordered a cheese burger.
Me: What was wrong with it?
CW: Nothing. It was a $1.34.
Me: Bargain.
CW: The clerk was surprised I ordered it. She kept asking me if I was sure I wanted the cheeseburger. She kept saying, "Just a cheeseburger?"
Me: That's weird.
CW: Then I look over and see that the double cheeseburger is on the dollar menu.
Me: Really? You could get a double for less than a regular.
CW: Yup. So what's wrong with that?
Me: Everything. Then you gotta ask yourself, "How do they sell it for a buck and make money?"
CW: Exactly.
Well, I now know how they sell it for a buck and make money because it was something that I wondered. How come fresh vegetables cost more than a Twinkie, an item that has many, many man-made chemicals in it? You would think it was a scientific marvel; how could it be so cheap?
And more and more I am opening my eyes to the problems that big, fast, and cheap are causing. It was something I suspected but could not articulate, and now I don't have to. Someone made a film about it. It's one thing to know something, but quite another to see it close up and in living color.
Every person should see this movie.
Co-worker: I'm really mad at Burger King.
Me: Huh? Why? Did the King come after you?
CW: Nope. I was just there last night.
Me: Oh yeah?
CW: And I ordered a cheese burger.
Me: What was wrong with it?
CW: Nothing. It was a $1.34.
Me: Bargain.
CW: The clerk was surprised I ordered it. She kept asking me if I was sure I wanted the cheeseburger. She kept saying, "Just a cheeseburger?"
Me: That's weird.
CW: Then I look over and see that the double cheeseburger is on the dollar menu.
Me: Really? You could get a double for less than a regular.
CW: Yup. So what's wrong with that?
Me: Everything. Then you gotta ask yourself, "How do they sell it for a buck and make money?"
CW: Exactly.
Well, I now know how they sell it for a buck and make money because it was something that I wondered. How come fresh vegetables cost more than a Twinkie, an item that has many, many man-made chemicals in it? You would think it was a scientific marvel; how could it be so cheap?
And more and more I am opening my eyes to the problems that big, fast, and cheap are causing. It was something I suspected but could not articulate, and now I don't have to. Someone made a film about it. It's one thing to know something, but quite another to see it close up and in living color.
Every person should see this movie.
Monday, March 22, 2010
What I do know. Sort of.
Today they passed the health care bill.
Some are thrilled. Some are pissed. Some don't know what to think.
I don't know what to think. I know it's not ideal, but also that we have to start somewhere. Even if that somewhere looks like Shitsville.
But here's what I do know.
I have insurance. Pretty good insurance. Better than most people's insurance. And here's an example of how that insurance works/doesn't work.
When we brought Sena in for her two month check-up, the pediatrician detected a heart murmur, a common thing called a "flow murmur". She said not to worry. Of course, I was worried.
She referred us to have a pediatric echocardiogram done, just to make sure there was no defect in her heart. So we went to the U of M hospital and had it done the following week. It took about 10 minutes and Sena was a model patient, smiling at the technician as she moved the ultrasound tool over her tiny body.
The test showed her heart was absolutely fine.
I received the statement a few weeks later from the insurance biller. You know the statements that say "This is not a bill"? Well, the hospital billed the insurance provider $1400 for that 10 minute echocardiogram.
And the insurance said they would pay $386.
We weren't responsible for any of it. Because of our insurance.
Now if I didn't have insurance, can you guess what we would be expected to pay?
Yes, that's right. $1400.
Can you imagine what they would say if I said, "Hmmmm. I think it's only worth $386 bucks. How about I pay that instead."
They would laugh in my face.
But somehow it's okay for the insurance company to do.
So what is wrong with this picture? Way to much.
It will be interesting to see what happens now.
Some are thrilled. Some are pissed. Some don't know what to think.
I don't know what to think. I know it's not ideal, but also that we have to start somewhere. Even if that somewhere looks like Shitsville.
But here's what I do know.
I have insurance. Pretty good insurance. Better than most people's insurance. And here's an example of how that insurance works/doesn't work.
When we brought Sena in for her two month check-up, the pediatrician detected a heart murmur, a common thing called a "flow murmur". She said not to worry. Of course, I was worried.
She referred us to have a pediatric echocardiogram done, just to make sure there was no defect in her heart. So we went to the U of M hospital and had it done the following week. It took about 10 minutes and Sena was a model patient, smiling at the technician as she moved the ultrasound tool over her tiny body.
The test showed her heart was absolutely fine.
I received the statement a few weeks later from the insurance biller. You know the statements that say "This is not a bill"? Well, the hospital billed the insurance provider $1400 for that 10 minute echocardiogram.
And the insurance said they would pay $386.
We weren't responsible for any of it. Because of our insurance.
Now if I didn't have insurance, can you guess what we would be expected to pay?
Yes, that's right. $1400.
Can you imagine what they would say if I said, "Hmmmm. I think it's only worth $386 bucks. How about I pay that instead."
They would laugh in my face.
But somehow it's okay for the insurance company to do.
So what is wrong with this picture? Way to much.
It will be interesting to see what happens now.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Piggy Flu
By now most people have heard all about the piggy flu, or H1N1. It's not actually the swine flu, but I like to say "piggy". Since school starts next week, and the campus will be inundated with thousands and thousands and THOUSANDS of people, the university has been gearing up to prevent what they think could be a massive outbreak.
Normally I would not be concerned.
I can count on one hand the number of flu shots I have received as an adult. Two.
I have never had the flu.
I've had stomach bugs and food poisoning and colds, but never the flu. And the more I hear about what it's really like, the more convinced I am that I really don't want it.
Plus, the baby Moo is coming soon. And I have to decide what to do because little tiny babies cannot get flu shots.
Which means everyone else has to.
When I told Matt this, I might as well have told him that he had to eat a turd sandwich. "But I hate needles!"
"Me too. Too bad."
"But I never get sick." It's true, he doesn't.
"Too bad, you HAVE to get one. I think it's two shots."
"TWO SHOTS?"
"Plus another for the seasonal flu."
"Whaa-haaa-aat?"
"Three shots." I tell him this more than once, just to get him used to the idea.
I was just reading the latest recommendation this morning that pregnant women are supposed to be among the first in line for shots, which also has me concerned. What kind of reactions might these shots have? They haven't been tested and they want to give them to pregnant women. Last time I checked, pregnant women are the last group of people that should be treated like guinea pigs.
So then I wondered if I should wait until after the baby is born. Now or later? I suppose this is one of those questions that parents are always having to decide: Which is the best thing to do? You can get all the information you want, a lot of it conflicting information from different sources, but then in the end you still have to decide, see it through, and then be responsible for the outcome, whatever it is.
Good God, I think this means I'm an adult now...
Normally I would not be concerned.
I can count on one hand the number of flu shots I have received as an adult. Two.
I have never had the flu.
I've had stomach bugs and food poisoning and colds, but never the flu. And the more I hear about what it's really like, the more convinced I am that I really don't want it.
Plus, the baby Moo is coming soon. And I have to decide what to do because little tiny babies cannot get flu shots.
Which means everyone else has to.
When I told Matt this, I might as well have told him that he had to eat a turd sandwich. "But I hate needles!"
"Me too. Too bad."
"But I never get sick." It's true, he doesn't.
"Too bad, you HAVE to get one. I think it's two shots."
"TWO SHOTS?"
"Plus another for the seasonal flu."
"Whaa-haaa-aat?"
"Three shots." I tell him this more than once, just to get him used to the idea.
I was just reading the latest recommendation this morning that pregnant women are supposed to be among the first in line for shots, which also has me concerned. What kind of reactions might these shots have? They haven't been tested and they want to give them to pregnant women. Last time I checked, pregnant women are the last group of people that should be treated like guinea pigs.
So then I wondered if I should wait until after the baby is born. Now or later? I suppose this is one of those questions that parents are always having to decide: Which is the best thing to do? You can get all the information you want, a lot of it conflicting information from different sources, but then in the end you still have to decide, see it through, and then be responsible for the outcome, whatever it is.
Good God, I think this means I'm an adult now...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Breaking News
It's official. Hell has frozen over.
I'm now a Vikings fan. (I think I almost threw up a little bit typing that.)
I'm now a Vikings fan. (I think I almost threw up a little bit typing that.)
Monday, July 6, 2009
Art Imitating Life or Vice Versa
A good friend living down in Iowa sent me this news clip; a little story about a duck and a dog. Their names are Sterling and Cleo and they are best friends.
Sound familiar? I just can't make this stuff up.
Thank you, Cristina!
Sound familiar? I just can't make this stuff up.
Thank you, Cristina!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Michael Jackson and Deep Thoughts
Conversation with Matt in the car after grocery shopping at Target.
INT - CAR: Thursday afternoon Michael Jackson's music is playing on every radio station after news of his death.
Mindy: I was totally shocked when I heard that.
Matt: Yeah, I know.
Mindy: Although, I guess I shouldn't be. That dude had some serious problems.
Matt: Mmmm-hmmm.
Mindy: I still remember exactly where I was when I saw that Thriller video for the first time. I was like, Holy Shit!
Matt: Yeah.
Mindy: Hey, what would you do if you knew you were going to die at 50?
Matt: Um, I don't know.
Mindy: Would you do anything different?
Matt: Oh yeah, of course.
Mindy: What?
Matt spends a minute thinking: I don't know.
Mindy: But you would do something different?
Matt: Yeah.
Mindy: What if you knew you were going to die in 5 years? Then what would you do?
Matt: I would take out a huge life insurance policy.
Mindy: That's a good idea.
Matt: Especially if you knew five years in advance.
Mindy: Then what?
Matt: I'd quit my job and run up a bunch of debt.
Mindy (laughing): Really?
Matt: Oh yeah. I wouldn't care.
Mindy: Wouldn't I have to pay for it? When you're dead?
Matt: Ah, but that's what the insurance policy is for.
Mindy: It better be a big one then.
Matt: Oh yeah, the biggest one I could find.
Mindy: Well, you could do that now. If you wanted to. Nobody's stopping you.
Matt: Hmmmm...
Mindy: We should just sell all our shit and travel.
Matt: Yeah. Wander around. I always wanted to do that. Just like the dude on Kung-Fu.
Mindy: Yeah. Oh man, David Carradine just died too. I guess he was a kinky perv.
Matt: Yeah, that sucks.
Mindy: Being a perv?
Matt: No, that would be embarrassing to die like that.
Mindy: Of course, if you were dead, you wouldn't care what anyone thought.
Matt: Probably.
Mindy: I guess money really can't buy happiness.
Matt: But if I had a lot of money I could quit working. And that would make me happy.
Mindy: How much would we need to quit working?
Matt: For how long?
Mindy: Forever... Five million?
Matt: Oh yeah. Definitely. You could live off the interest.
Mindy: As long as you didn't go crazy. You could easily go through it if you were stupid.
Matt: Yeah. You can't be stupid.
Mindy: I think I can do it.
Matt: What? Make 5 million or not be stupid.
Mindy: The first part.
END SCENE.
INT - CAR: Thursday afternoon Michael Jackson's music is playing on every radio station after news of his death.
Mindy: I was totally shocked when I heard that.
Matt: Yeah, I know.
Mindy: Although, I guess I shouldn't be. That dude had some serious problems.
Matt: Mmmm-hmmm.
Mindy: I still remember exactly where I was when I saw that Thriller video for the first time. I was like, Holy Shit!
Matt: Yeah.
Mindy: Hey, what would you do if you knew you were going to die at 50?
Matt: Um, I don't know.
Mindy: Would you do anything different?
Matt: Oh yeah, of course.
Mindy: What?
Matt spends a minute thinking: I don't know.
Mindy: But you would do something different?
Matt: Yeah.
Mindy: What if you knew you were going to die in 5 years? Then what would you do?
Matt: I would take out a huge life insurance policy.
Mindy: That's a good idea.
Matt: Especially if you knew five years in advance.
Mindy: Then what?
Matt: I'd quit my job and run up a bunch of debt.
Mindy (laughing): Really?
Matt: Oh yeah. I wouldn't care.
Mindy: Wouldn't I have to pay for it? When you're dead?
Matt: Ah, but that's what the insurance policy is for.
Mindy: It better be a big one then.
Matt: Oh yeah, the biggest one I could find.
Mindy: Well, you could do that now. If you wanted to. Nobody's stopping you.
Matt: Hmmmm...
Mindy: We should just sell all our shit and travel.
Matt: Yeah. Wander around. I always wanted to do that. Just like the dude on Kung-Fu.
Mindy: Yeah. Oh man, David Carradine just died too. I guess he was a kinky perv.
Matt: Yeah, that sucks.
Mindy: Being a perv?
Matt: No, that would be embarrassing to die like that.
Mindy: Of course, if you were dead, you wouldn't care what anyone thought.
Matt: Probably.
Mindy: I guess money really can't buy happiness.
Matt: But if I had a lot of money I could quit working. And that would make me happy.
Mindy: How much would we need to quit working?
Matt: For how long?
Mindy: Forever... Five million?
Matt: Oh yeah. Definitely. You could live off the interest.
Mindy: As long as you didn't go crazy. You could easily go through it if you were stupid.
Matt: Yeah. You can't be stupid.
Mindy: I think I can do it.
Matt: What? Make 5 million or not be stupid.
Mindy: The first part.
END SCENE.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Supposably...
I (generally speaking) cannot stand politicians, mainly for the way they speak. That is, mealy-mouthed and out of both sides of it.
Which is why I loved it when our governor was Jesse Ventura.
Say what you want about him, and I certainly didn't always agree with him, but I LOVED the things he said and the way he said them.
Because it was glaringly obvious he wasn't a politician, the usual kind who are only interested in smiling their toothy smiles and blowing smoke up every one's butt so they can get re-elected.
That's just my opinion... I could be wrong.
I particularly love this clip of Jesse on the View, making Elizabeth Hasselbeck sound as dumb as ever, which I suppose is not the most difficult thing to do. I really love the part where she says, "Supposably".
She needs to cut down on the hair bleach. I think it is seeping into her brain.
Which is why I loved it when our governor was Jesse Ventura.
Say what you want about him, and I certainly didn't always agree with him, but I LOVED the things he said and the way he said them.
Because it was glaringly obvious he wasn't a politician, the usual kind who are only interested in smiling their toothy smiles and blowing smoke up every one's butt so they can get re-elected.
That's just my opinion... I could be wrong.
I particularly love this clip of Jesse on the View, making Elizabeth Hasselbeck sound as dumb as ever, which I suppose is not the most difficult thing to do. I really love the part where she says, "Supposably".
She needs to cut down on the hair bleach. I think it is seeping into her brain.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Underdog
In honor of our new leader of the free world, here is the video of Spoon's The Underdog. Apropos to the man who was mocked in the media for thinking he had a snowball's chance in hell at the presidency.
But as you all are well aware, Americans love an underdog.
But as you all are well aware, Americans love an underdog.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Today
As of noon today, I will no longer fake a Canadian accent when traveling abroad. I will not stick gigantic maple leaf stickers on my baggage. I won't care very much if my husband walks around the streets of Paris wearing obnoxious white sneakers, a baseball hat, or a fanny pack. Well, I might care a little bit.
I won't say, "Eh?" when a European person asks me a question, or yell, "Take off, you hoser!" when someone cuts us off in one of their teeny, tiny clown cars.
Wait...I still might do that.
However, I will no longer be a stuttering, shame-faced American apologizing for the incompetent douchebaggery that has overflowed like a clogged toilet from our nation's capitol for the past 8 years.
That is now over.
America is officially cool again.
Word to your mother.
I won't say, "Eh?" when a European person asks me a question, or yell, "Take off, you hoser!" when someone cuts us off in one of their teeny, tiny clown cars.
Wait...I still might do that.
However, I will no longer be a stuttering, shame-faced American apologizing for the incompetent douchebaggery that has overflowed like a clogged toilet from our nation's capitol for the past 8 years.
That is now over.
America is officially cool again.
Word to your mother.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Bella and Tara
I previously wrote about the thirty year friendship between two elephants, Jenny and Shirley. And then I saw this story.
I tried not to cry into my Morning Breakfast blend coffee. I failed.
This is a little like the relationship that inspired my book Luella, which was based on a real life friendship between a young duckling and a dog.
People who believe that animals can't have deep meaningful connections the way that people do are seriously lacking in their mental faculties... That's the nice way of saying it. Normally, I would call those people "big dumb doodie heads", something that my nephew Jack would say.
Although, Jack hasn't said that YET, I'm already psychologically preparing for that moment so I don't laugh too hard.
Here is something to keep you feeling warm and fuzzy on this cold January morning.
Thanks to Dooce.com for posting this story,
I tried not to cry into my Morning Breakfast blend coffee. I failed.
This is a little like the relationship that inspired my book Luella, which was based on a real life friendship between a young duckling and a dog.
People who believe that animals can't have deep meaningful connections the way that people do are seriously lacking in their mental faculties... That's the nice way of saying it. Normally, I would call those people "big dumb doodie heads", something that my nephew Jack would say.
Although, Jack hasn't said that YET, I'm already psychologically preparing for that moment so I don't laugh too hard.
Here is something to keep you feeling warm and fuzzy on this cold January morning.
Thanks to Dooce.com for posting this story,
Friday, January 9, 2009
Doppelgangers
Unless you've been living under a rock you've probably heard the story about the Illinois governor Blagojavich (sp?) who allegedly tried to sell Obama's vacant senate seat. It appears that he may be impeached; according to this CNN video.
But enough about stupid political processes. All I can think of is how this guy looks like the love child of Stephen King and Sam the Eagle.
Remember Sam from the Muppet Show?
KING
PLUS
SAM
EQUALS
Am I the only one who has noticed this? Maybe it's his feathered coif.
I know it says something about me. Psychologically. I'm just not sure I want to know what it says.
But enough about stupid political processes. All I can think of is how this guy looks like the love child of Stephen King and Sam the Eagle.
Remember Sam from the Muppet Show?
KING
PLUS
SAM
EQUALS
Am I the only one who has noticed this? Maybe it's his feathered coif.
I know it says something about me. Psychologically. I'm just not sure I want to know what it says.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Walk it Off
Well, it's official: now you should wear a HELMET all the time. Just to be on the safe side.
Because of all the snow this year, there's a lot of people out sledding. Therefore more people getting hurt.
Because of this, HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center) has published A LIST OF SLEDDING TIPS.
No, I'm not kidding.
Here it is
Read and be disturbed....
No sitting backwards! No piling 7 people on an inner tube! No icy jumps!
What is the point?
Of course my favorite was wearing a helmet.
When I was growing up nobody wore a helmet to do anything. Not even when playing football or riding bikes. There was usually only one kid in the neighbor or school yard that wore a helmet. And this kid always had a runny nose and smelled like a mixture of old bologna and mustard sandwiches and Vick's Vap-o-rub.
This kid was avoided like the plague. For obvious reasons.
I remember my dad's basic safety lessons. They're easy to remember since there's only two of them.
1. Don't land on your head.
2. Walk it off.
#2 was if you did, in fact, perform a marvelous wipeout but no bones were protruding from your skin and the wounds were not so deep as to require stitches or blood transfusions.
But now you're supposed to wear a freakin' helmet to sled. Not luge. Sledding. Sheesh.
Forget being last place in math and science in the industrial world; the USA is slowly but surely turning into a nation of nansy-pansies.
Obama needs to get on that - ummm, as soon as they fix all those other problems.
Because of all the snow this year, there's a lot of people out sledding. Therefore more people getting hurt.
Because of this, HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center) has published A LIST OF SLEDDING TIPS.
No, I'm not kidding.
Here it is
Read and be disturbed....
No sitting backwards! No piling 7 people on an inner tube! No icy jumps!
What is the point?
Of course my favorite was wearing a helmet.
When I was growing up nobody wore a helmet to do anything. Not even when playing football or riding bikes. There was usually only one kid in the neighbor or school yard that wore a helmet. And this kid always had a runny nose and smelled like a mixture of old bologna and mustard sandwiches and Vick's Vap-o-rub.
This kid was avoided like the plague. For obvious reasons.
I remember my dad's basic safety lessons. They're easy to remember since there's only two of them.
1. Don't land on your head.
2. Walk it off.
#2 was if you did, in fact, perform a marvelous wipeout but no bones were protruding from your skin and the wounds were not so deep as to require stitches or blood transfusions.
But now you're supposed to wear a freakin' helmet to sled. Not luge. Sledding. Sheesh.
Forget being last place in math and science in the industrial world; the USA is slowly but surely turning into a nation of nansy-pansies.
Obama needs to get on that - ummm, as soon as they fix all those other problems.
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